A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, "bok, bok, BOK". The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books and gives them to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.  Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say, "bok bok boKKOOOK!" The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives them to them. The chickens leave as before. The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, "bok bok bok bok bokkooooook!!" The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them. She follows them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hides behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She sees the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog is saying "Rreadit, readit, readit...."

How many librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how unprofessional changing light bulbs really is.

And one that's off the topic:

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

submitted by Shawnalee Whitney (originally posted to uaa-faculty list)

The following item about the current crop of first year students appeared on the pop culture list on March 19. I thought others might find it of interest.

Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen. Here is this year's list:

 

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980.

They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot.

They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.

There has been only one Pope. They can only really remember one president.

They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

They have never feared a nuclear war. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Tienamen Square means nothing to them.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screwed off and plastic.

Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums.

The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

They have never owned a record player.

They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.

Star Wars looks very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic.

There have always been red M&M's and blue ones are not new. There used to be beige ones?

They may have heard of an 8 track, but probably never have actually seen or heard one.

The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.

As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.

They have always had an answering machine.

Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV.

They have always had cable.

There have always been VCR's, but they have no idea what BETA is.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

They were born the year that Sony introduced the Walkman.

Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.

The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.

They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a football player.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII or even the Civil War.

They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the beef?," "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane, de plane!"

They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.

The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was.

Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.

McDonald's never came in styrofoam containers.

There has always been MTV...

Northwest Notes / 20(1) Jan.-Mar. 1999 / April 22, 1999