21 IDEAS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY: THE MIND IS IMMORTAL

Business Week magazine in a recent issue discusses 21 ideas that may be key to understanding the next century. One idea is the simulation of an individual's brain activity, making it possible for future generations to converse with a virtual equivalent of the person years after his or her death. By the 2030s, technology may be developed to simulate a nervous system's electrical activity, allowing thoughts and feelings to be preserved.

Initial versions of the hardware for this "Soul Catcher" have already been developed. A person's life could be recorded using tiny video cameras housed in eyeglass frames. These cameras could be linked to IBM's newest hard disk, which is the size of a quarter and stores 300 MB, or one month worth of data. IBM is also developing software to index video content automatically, allowing users to easily access a specific moment in their lives. By 2099, a "Soul Emancipator" will be able to access the hard data and reconstruct a person's thoughts and feelings, allowing future generations to receive realistic answers to questions posed to a person that has been dead for years. (Business Week 08/30/99)

originally published on Edupage, 8-23-99

Did you know you should check your toilet paper for Y2K compliance? Seems that on Jan. 1, 2000, if it's not compliant it will roll over to 1900 and turn into a Sears Roebuck catalog.

COFFIN ATTACK

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster...faster ...BUMP ...BUMP ...BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping ...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

...and...of...course,

...the coffin stops!

DEEP THOUGHTS

1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
3. I am in shape. Round's a shape...
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
5. Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
6. I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
7. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
8. Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
9. You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we have no idea where she is.
10. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
11. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
12. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
13. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.
14. A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
15. Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library, the James Carter Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
16. If all is not lost, where is it?

originally posted to hlaust listserve, 9-2-99, by Tunnack

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